


He will be okay

by spacelightwood



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comforting!Magnus, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Hatred, im so sorry for this fic, sad!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacelightwood/pseuds/spacelightwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are to be stripped of your runes and sent to lead a mundane life due to your dalliances with a male downworlder and deciding to protect a downworlder child.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	He will be okay

**Author's Note:**

> Been in a really down mood for the past few days and this was the result of me trying to write my main fic
> 
> Not Beta'd because i did this in like 20 minutes

_“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are to be stripped of your runes and sent to lead a mundane life due to your dalliances with a male downworlder and deciding to protect a downworlder child.”_

_Alec could feel himself falling._

_Izzy was screaming._

_Jace was shouting._

_Clary was crying._

_His mother looked…embarrassed._

_His father was smiling._

_Alec was falling._

_No one was catching him._

_He heard a scream._

_So violent, so full of pain, so raw._

_He realised it was himself._

_Everything went black._

_“Alexander”_

_He was shaking…out of fear?_

_“Alexander”_

_No…someone was shaking him?_

“Alexander, wake up!”

Suddenly he could open his eyes, he sat up and looked around. He was in Magnus’ bedroom. No, their bedroom. He turned to the man in question.

“Hey it’s okay, it was just a dream. You’re okay, you’re safe,” Magnus was soothing him, “I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

He looked down at his arms, saw the white raised bumps of past runes. It wasn’t just a dream. He wasn’t safe. His parents always told him he wasn’t safe around downworlders. Yet, that was where he was safest now. He wasn’t safe due to his own kind. Shadowhunters. He can’t associate with them anymore. They stripped him of his runes all because he was in love with Magnus.

They’d been trying to find a way to do this for 3 years. And they finally had.

Alec felt the tears stream down his cheeks before he could stop them. Before he could stop Magnus from noticing.

“Oh, darling.”

Magnus bundled him up in his arms, like you would a baby, and let Alec cry on him. He knew doing this would make Magnus feel guiltier. He already thought all of this was his fault. But Alec wouldn’t change his relationship with Magnus for the world. The fact that he is now classed as _mundane_ has proved that.

“Why would they do this to me?” In a moment of weakness Alec asked the question he had been wondering since that horrific day 2 weeks ago, “I don’t deserve this.”

He thought he did at first, in fact when anyone tried to assure him he didn’t, he was the first one to say that stupid motto. The law is hard, but it is the law. But now…

“I don’t know darling, you don’t deserve this. I wish there was something I could have done, but my hands were tied. Literally.” Magnus remembers the day as well, remembers Alec being arrested and in a moment of weakness his own hands were bound together, to stop him from performing any magic.

Alec suddenly blanked, his face of emotions turning into a face of stone. Magnus expects this every time, but it still shocks him at how quick Alec shuts his emotions off. Alec didn’t want to be seen as any weaker than he already is. This is his life now. He can’t cry about it. He just has to accept it and move on. As a mundane.

“Alexa-”

“I’m going to make a coffee and get ready for the day.”

Magnus sighed, it was 4:30 in the morning, hardly time to get ready for the day.

“Sweetheart, you can’t keep bottling your emotions up like this.”

“Watch me.” And with that, Alec flung the covers back and stormed out of their bedroom.

Magnus felt guilty for rolling over and shutting his eyes, but this has happened for that past 14 nights and there is honestly nothing he hasn’t tried before. At this point, Magnus is just accepting the fact that Alec is going to bottle his emotions up and then breakdown one day. And when that day comes, Magnus will be there for him like he has this whole time, holding him and reassuring him that no harm will come to him again.

Alec was sat on the balcony watching the sunrise. From this side of the loft you can just make out the front of the cathedral that it is the Institute. He sits and watches like he has done for the past two weeks, hoping that maybe Isabelle is thinking about him and doing the same. Hoping that Jace will walk out one day and wave at Alec. Before this whole ordeal, having the Institute close to the loft was a blessing, now it’s just a curse. Alec knows his siblings aren’t allowed to contact him and that they will be under surveillance 24/7 to make sure they abide by the laws. He knows it’s not their fault that he can’t see them, and yet all his wants is a hug from his sister. All he wants is to hear Max talk his ear off about comics again. Hell he would even pay just to see his mother look at him in that disappointed way she always did.

He makes breakfast in bed for Magnus, like he has done every morning he’s woken up in a mood. Magnus doesn’t deserve this. He’s immortal for Angel’s sake, he should be out partying to his heart’s content. Now, he’s been burdened with Alec. He didn’t ask for Alec to be thrown into his world, to destroy any hope of him having an adventurous life again, because Alec was mundane now. Sure, he still had Angelic blood, sure he can still use a Seraph blade, and sure he can still use his stele. But what’s the point when he can’t draw runes and fight demons because he will die.

Tiny footsteps bring him out of his continuous self-deprecating monologue and he turns just in time to see a little blue Warlock make his way into the kitchen.

“Morning daddy.”

Alec’s mood instantly lifted at seeing his son, still sleepy eyed and messy haired, sat waiting for his morning cup of orange juice.

No, Alec didn’t deserve being stripped of his runes. No, he didn’t deserve to never be allowed to see his family again.

But no, he would never regret losing all of that if it meant he couldn’t look after his own son with Magnus.

And in the end, he knows everything will be okay, because he has a loving fiancé who has promised they will get married the mundane way when all of this blows over, and a larger than life son who has brought him sunshine in his darkest moments.

No, Alec won’t be okay overnight, but he knows it will get better with these two by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is downforaleclightwood if you want to come shout at me


End file.
